Whether you prefer your yolks scrambled, fried, or safely secured in their shells, Easter is the chance to unite with all egg lovers in celebration. But when it comes to video games, not all eggs are worth toasting. For every golden goose of gaming is equally matched by an odious ovoid looking to spoil our digital dinner. It’s time to crack open the video game annals and finally separate the good eggs from the bad.
Good Egg: Yoshi’s endless supply of projectiles
Mario’s sauropod ally has always been a champion of egg-kind. Whether hurling them at foes from afar or trapping enemies within their shells, Yoshi knows his way around an egg or two. Better yet, he delivers them in adorably cartoon, woolen, and crafted forms too! An eggspert marksman all around. Admittedly though, it is hard to appreciate his talents when subjected to a relentless bombardment of shells during a Super Smash Bros showdown.
Bad Egg: Bunny Day in Animal Crossing
Utter the name Zipper T. Bunny in front of any Animal Crossing player and they’re likely to suffer an uncontrollable shudder. The series’ Bunny Day mascot is a menace upon our New Horizons islands. Showing up unexpectedly, the large-eared fiend cuts through the spring blossom vibes with his horrific vacant gaze. It’s also clear that, unlike most residents and visitors, Zipper is actually dressed up inside a bunny suit. It begs the question as to who or what actually lies within. Take your egg-themed tat elsewhere you seasonal terror!
Good Egg: Resident Evil 4’s freebies
Leon doesn’t exactly get a warm welcome in Resident Evil 4, but at least the village’s livestock have something positive to offer him. Hang around the game’s farmyard chickens long enough and you’ll find they lay eggs that Leon can pick up. Their primary purpose is to heal you when eaten, but they can also be thrown at enemies for a downright disrespectful eggsecution. Get lucky and you might even secure a golden egg which provides a full heal or can be traded to the merchant for a lump of cash. That or use it to take out the final boss of the game.
Bad Egg: Kazooie’s eggy outbursts
We’re not entirely sure where Banjo & Kazooie’s designers did their avian research, but it clearly wasn’t from a reputable source. Kazooie firing eggs at enemies would have put her in the same class as Yoshi, if not for the fact that she shoots them from her mouth. Do Breegulls lay eggs from either end, or did Kazooie eat hundreds in advance so that she could regurgitate them during battle? Either way, it’s unsettling, and we really wish she’d stop.
Good Egg: Alolan Exegguctor
Inexplicably combining eggs with a coconut tree, Exeggutor was already an entertaining Pokémon in our books. But the sheer nonsense of the Alolan version’s long-necked design has made it an all-time favorite. Why is it so tall, and what exactly makes it shift from psychic into a dragon type? Such questions need not be answered. Just gaze upon this mighty, egg-headed behemoth and be glad that it exists.
Bad Egg: Dizzy's design
Dizzy was born from era in which creating video game protagonists was apparently as simple as looking around and picking the first thing in sight. Even then, an egg makes for a rather unconventional choice of hero. The platforming series may have found great success in the ‘80s and ‘90s, but we can’t help but find something disconcerting about Dizzy’s smug-faced design. It’s probably the limbs. Eggs shouldn’t have arms or legs, Dizzy.
Good Egg: Billy Hatcher’s giant eggs
The GameCube was home to many ill-fated developmental adventures, but few garnered such fond memories as Billy Hatcher and the Giant Egg. Developed by Sega’s Sonic Team, it was an unusual 3D platformer which saw you rolling, growing, and hatching eggs to free a world from the tyranny of crows. All while playing as a boy dressed in a chicken suit, naturally. It was weird, wonderful, and featured more egg-based combat actions than we’ve ever seen in gaming again.
Bad Egg: Pokémon’s egg-hatching eggsaustion
Pokémon’s breeding system is a good idea in theory. Two Pokémon create an egg, then you carry it around until you reach the step count required for your new partner to pop out of its shell. In practice, however, fine tuning a team of competitive creatures requires hatching an awful lot of those distance-dependent capsules. The result is time-consuming tedium as you cycle round and round set paths to hatch your Poké-pals as quickly as possible.
It’s amazing, then, that Pokémon GO managed to turn the concept into one of it’s core mechanics. The difference being, of course, that walking in real life encourages you to explore new places and even get fitter. Much better than looping the same pixellated cycling path for half an hour.
Good Egg: The slumbering Wind Fish
Barring the bizarre CD-i outings, Links Awakening is easily one of our tunic-clad hero’s strangest and most eggcellent adventures. And towering above the game’s setting of Koholint island lies its most memorable mystery: the gigantic Wind Fish egg. A creature, dungeon, and narrative core all merged into one, the Wind Fish is easily one of gaming’s most impressive eggs. And the secret within it is reminder that even the most delectable croque madames of the video game world must eventually fade to memory…
Bad Egg: Dr (Eggman) Robotnik
Where else could this list end but with one of gaming’s most enduring egg-based villains? That said, we have a bone to pick with Sonic the Hedgehog’s archnemesis. Listen, are you Eggman or Robotnik? We know that localization issues may be to blame, but please just make up your mind. And if you are going for Eggman, is it too much to ask that you throw a few egg-based attacks into your arsenal? You and your giant mustache have been giving our beloved ovoids a bad name for far too long now.
Cooking up any ideas for more good or bad eggs in gaming? Get cracking and share them with us so we know which ones to celebrate this Easter!