Hey, remember when Rage, a shooter from FPS maestros id Software, didn’t have an FPS PvP mode, and we got car combat instead? Not ideal. Sometimes games lose their genre identity.
With Rage 2 just announced, those mixed feelings have come flooding back. While the 2011 post-apocalyptic shooter was as satisfyingly blasty as expected from id Software, the PvP mode was… un-ex-pec-ted. As it turned out, car combat was actually pretty good, but not something folks who’d spent 20 years playing id Software shooters were in any rush to play. Hopefully Rage 2 PvP isn’t something trolley dashing or something weirder. Basically we really hope it involves shooting some fools.
So, Rage got us thinking about those other times that awesome games demanded that we broaden our horizons. Well it’s either that or maybe the developers found the bags of really strong coffee. Read on for 10 bizarre minigames that threw the genre-baby out with the game-water.
Tekken Bowl (Tekken Tag Tournament, 2000)
Home versions of Tekken from Namco were packed with extras such as Theatre Mode and the brawler-style Tekken Force. We’d already had Tekken Ball in Tekken 3 in 1998, which used combat moves to play beach volleyball, and kind of made sense. In 2000, we couldn’t wait to see what Namco would do with the exciting new hardware capabilities. Bowling was the answer! Though it may sound less exciting than knocking a ball back and forth in the sun, we actually played it a fair bit because it was both fun and funny. In fact, the mode proved popular enough to warrant a return in Tekken 7.
Snake vs Monkey (Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, 2006)
Snake’s stealth capabilities are put to the test in this silly but surprisingly enjoyable extra mode in Metal Gear Solid 3 for PlayStation 2. It’s a special mission to round-up a gang of apes in which our hero’s sneaking skills are aided by banana camouflage, allowing him to get close enough to use his Monkey Shaker immobilizer and stun grenades. The apes in question appeared to have broken free from the Ape Escape series, wearing Peak Point Helmets to give them extra intelligence.
Fishing (Sadly too numerous to mention)
Nothing makes our fingernails tingle and nose twitch more than being strong-armed into a spot of fishing in our most beloved adventure games. It made sense, we accept, in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, enriching the open-world feel of this timeless RPG classic. One of those, ‘Ho-ho, whatever will Nintendo dream up next?’ moments. Cut forward a couple of decades and we’re now expected to throw a line in games like Nier: Automata and Final Fantasy XV. Enough already!
Death Tank (PowerSlave, 1996)
The SEGA Saturn FPS PowerSlave was a fantastic DOOM-like adventure taking place among cursed Egyptian tombs. As an additional challenge, and an early example of collect-a-thons in gaming, players went in search of 23 hidden Realm Dolls. Find them all and a new game mode unlocked – the tactical terrain 2D shooter for up to six players: Death Tank. It’s crazy addictive to this day, and you can even still grab the 2009 Xbox Live version for $14.99. Alternatively, Early Access indie title ShellShock Live has refined the formula further, adding wild new weapons and modes to play with.
Destiny ‘Sparrow Racing League’ (Destiny, 2015)
We’re not going to rag on Bungie’s decision to elevate the antics of Guardians performing tricks on speeder bikes to something more official. The Sparrow Racing League (SRL) was well produced, and a fine distraction for those who didn’t feel like shooting. The problem, however, was that the new event rewarded clumsy Wipeout-lite grinding with gear of the maximum (320) Light level, belittling the efforts of anyone who’d waged war against Oryx. After all, why risk your life against a terrifying beast when you could simply fly a hoverbike about for a bit?
Geometry Wars (Project Gotham Racing 2, 2003)
British developer Bizarre Creations slipped this one into the Xbox racing game like it was almost nothing. Just a thing you could do, if you wanted. A 1980s style coin-op cabinet, tucked away in a far corner of the garage. Well, this little game turned out to be the hottest vector-graphics shooter since Tempest, and we’d spend more time in this garage than racing the Nürburgring. Swiftly turned into a full release, the latest edition, Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved, is available to buy on Steam and Xbox LIVE.
Grifball (Halo 3, 2007)
One of the highlights of the Halo glory days was this Forge creation in Halo 3 by the guys from Rooster Teeth, which became so popular that it made the playlists of every Halo up until Halo Guardians. It’s a crude and brutal variation of football, rooted in Assault, in which the ‘ball’ (actually a bomb) is carried toward the goal of the opposing team, while both sides lay into each other using Gravity Hammers and Energy Swords. Ahh, that Halo community humor.
Blitzball (Final Fantasy X, 2001)
We remember our thought process flowing from ‘This is odd, but okay,’ to ‘this is essential? Surely some mistake…’ rather swiftly back in the day. Unlike the take it or leave it Chocobo Racing, FFX’s futuristic stadium sport practiced by lead character Tidus is integral to the plot, meaning we have to learn to play, and play well in order to progress. Fortunately It becomes optional later on, but many fans find it hard to forgive the early contests you’re forced into in Luca.
Pipe Hacking (BioShock, 2007)
We adored BioShock. We fully hated hacking. Maybe not the first 50 times, that was okay. But after losing count of the number of occasions this one-trick mechanic showed up as an excuse to add intrigue to the overriding of security bots, cameras, turrets and more, it was almost enough to pull the plug on the whole underwater adventure. There’s no question that BioShock was a great game, but the hacking left our experience bitter-sweet. If you know of anything worse, please let us know in the comments below.
Forklift truck racing (Shenmue, 1999)
Martial arts student Ryo Hazuki is a serious guy on a serious mission to avenge the death of his father. During his pursuit of the felon Lan Di, and the mystery surrounding the secret of the Dragon Mirror, Hazuki lands himself a job at the docks. He karate-kicks some respect into the resident gangsters, using Virtua Fighter techniques. He also shows up to work early each day to participate in the world’s slowest motorsport, competing repeatedly until he has the chops to finish in first. The less said the better, really.
Found any great/terrible minigames lately or think we’ve missed a classic? Join the conversation in the comments below.