How many aliens have you killed in video games? How many advanced, interstellar races have you put to the energy sword? Sure, we doubt you ever had much chance of reasoning with a Chryssalid, but some aliens deserve better than a plasma round to the face. It’s about time to reconcile your past mistakes.
This week marks the culmination of months of planning as millions plan to storm Area 51 for the sole purpose of seeing “them aliens”. There’s never been a better chance to repay your debt to alienkind. By taking part in the raid — not for the selfish desire to see otherworldy creatures — you’ll have the chance to rescue plenty of trapped aliens, freeing them from their earthly cages.
Of course, you won’t have the time to save every alien you see, so to help you prepare we’ve put together a list of friendly video game aliens that desperately need rescuing from Area 51. We’re at least 67% sure the US Government is holding them.
Aliens that desperately need rescuing from Area 51
Lamarr - Half Life 2
If it wasn’t for their tendency to latch onto skulls and convert their prey into mindless zombies, Half-Life’s headcrabs would be pretty adorable. Thank goodness then for Lamarr, Dr Kleiner’s diminutive, defanged companion in Half-Life 2. Without the capability to hijack your bain, Lamarr (named after actress and inventor Hedy Lamarr)’s screeching leaps turn from aggressive to affectionate. After hopping through teleports and being fired into space during Half-Life 2’s story, we don’t see it as too unlikely he’s wound up in Area 51, locked up like the dangerous beasts his brethren are known to be. Don’t leave poor little Lamarr alone there, he deserves to be rescued.
Hearthians - Outer Wilds
The Hearthians are a simple people. All they want in life is to play instruments, have a chat and make it into space. Despite their relatively primitive technology, the folk of Outer Wilds have been impressively successful at planet hopping, so it’s no real stretch of the imagination to think one could have escaped the bounds of their crater to wind up on our own planet. With such a strong desire to roam built into their ethos, keeping a Hearthian locked up in Area 51 is downright cruel. So if you hear the strumming of a guitar or gentle toot of a horn while wandering the halls of Area 51, make sure to drop by and allow this gentle visitor to be on his way.
The Arbiter - Halo 2
When it comes to the Halo universe, it’s typically left up to Master Chief to save humanity and stave off the end of the world. While the big green Spartan is certainly qualified, he certainly couldn’t have pulled it all off without the help of the Arbiter, the Covenant’s former-general-turned-savior-of-all-sentient-life. Following the events of Halo 3, he comes crashing down to Earth where he’s presumably spent the rest of his days holed up in Area 51, waiting to be rescued. What do you mean Halo 3 is set in the future?
ToeJam & Earl
If you’re after the epitome of friendly extra-terrestrial life, look no further than ToeJam & Earl. This unusually shaped pair came to earth with one purpose in mind, to share their love of jammin’ tunes. The greatest danger these two have ever presented is to mess up your clothes with a couple of tossed tomatoes. Hunting peacefully for their lost ship parts, ToeJam & Earl have no doubt been cruelly hoovered up to be stored with the deadly likes of the Zerg and Metroids. They don’t deserve such dire company, so free them and maybe even enjoy a hot tub together before they bust a move to another world.
Thumper
We’re not sure Thumper ever clarified what, exactly, the beetle you play as is, but it sure as heck doesn’t look like any bug we’ve ever seen. Regardless, that little space beetle has been through a lot in our headcanon. Battling through several levels of hellish alien monstrosities and their unsettling music, he deserves better than to cooped up in a cell. The Thumper beetle deserves a break, and only you can offer it to him.
Boo - Baldur’s Gate
As video game aliens go, miniature giant space hamsters are sadly in short supply. If more monsters took queues from Minsc’s companion in Baldur’s Gate, the world would be a better place. Boo has been happily scurrying his way through the vents and corridors of Area 51 for some time now, but with Baldur’s Gate 3 confirmed to be in development, he needs to get his butt over to Larian Studios promptly for some voice recording sessions. Think of this one less as a breakout and more as an escort mission, which videogames will have given you plenty of experience at thus far.
Those are our picks for the aliens that desperately need rescuing from Area 51 during this week’s raid. Planning to set out soon? Make sure you’re ready by reading out our helpful list of games that’ll help you prepare for the Area 51 raid. Think we should save anyone else while we’re out there? Share your alien loves in the comments down below.